Why The World Is Awesome
by manga-neko-96
Summary: A collection of one-shots describing the... unique ways in which different countries are awesome. Based off of extreme advertising. Requests are encouraged. Rated for language. CRACK FIC! NOT MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY! :3
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Nothing. The only person who owns land is my friend "Lord" James. :p

**Why Canada is Awesome**

The War of 1812

Known as America's 2nd War for Independence against Britain. Most Americans have heard of it, but hardly any know the details. First off, it involved the Indians and Canada. How did Canada get involved? Well, when the Americans were being jerks to the Indians and seizing their property, the Indians came to Canada.

"Canada, your brother is out of control! He's taking our land and being a jerk." Canada liked the Indians and the British were seeking aid too. So Canada agreed. When the leader got back to his town and found it burned, he went to Canada. Canada was not pleased.

"Bro, you've crossed the line!" Canada took action. You know what he did? Yeah, that's right. Canada set fire to the White House. THE WHITE HOUSE. Canada BURNED it to the ground, just like the village. This should have been the first clue. When you mess with Canada, shit goes down.

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Vikings and Portugal

Forget the Europeans, Canada was first settled by the vikings! The Icelandic Sagas? Yeah, he's in there. He is the unofficial member of the Nordics, and everyone knows the Nordics are awesome. Newfoundland was originally Vinland. He has the blood of the VIKINGS!

The reason the vikings left? They couldn't handle the amazingness that is Canada. Before he was colonized Canada was a BAMF. If you can't stand the heat, get GTFO of the kitchen. If Canada was too much for the VIKINGS, imagine what he is like now. HOLY SHIT!

After the vikings, Portuguese settlers were the next to come. They set up fishing ports for Canada. You want some fish? Canada has fish, in fact, he has a freaking fish INDUSTRY now! America hasn't even been discovered yet and Canada is already booming.

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French Roots

While England took in Canada's bro America, France raised Canada. He has the awesome of the Nordics and the class of France. While France may be perverted, he is known as the country of romance for a reason! Not only can Canada speak Icelandic, Portuguese, and French, but he can also charm any woman he damn well pleases. He has all the charm and grace of France with none of the perverted tendencies. He is one classy man.

LADIES CONTROL YOURSELVES! This nation may seem perfect now, but it there is still more to come.

* * *

English Rule and America

After the 7 years War, England ruled over most of Canada. Guess where he didn't rule? Newfoundland, or VINLAND! You cannot tame the wild beast that is Vinland. England can't control Canada's Nordic blood. England couldn't take the heat! At this point in history, wars were going on every five minutes. Did Canada feel bothered? Not at all. He kicked back and enjoyed the show. Like a BOSS. Canada don't care about your political shit! HE is above that.

Canada now has Nordic, French, Portuguese and English roots. He can speak four languages bitches, and three of them are Romance languages! The ladies can't stay away from this sexy beast. He isn't even independent yet! You need some troops for your war? Go to CANADA! When Canada does fight in a war, he does not fight, he wins!

Like a good brother, Canada looked after little America. During the American Revolution, he gave his support. But when America tried to take his land? Well, the war of 1812 happened for a reason. "You be taking my land? NOT IN MY HOUSE!" Canada you BAMF, America never knew what hit him.

* * *

WWI and Women's Rights

France came to the almighty Canada for help in WWI. Canada, like the awesome nation he is, sent over his troops and supplies. OMFG, you are a saint, Canada. A SAINT!

Women's Rights? Good luck! Unless you live in Canada. Canada knows how to treat his women. When the women get rights, the women will do anything for their country. Canada has the love of ALL his people! Not only that, immigrants from Ukraine flocked to Canada. Ukraine couldn't stay away for long! Canada takes Ukraine under his wing. Russia's big sister is tight with Canada. He has Russia's approval. You say he is Russia's chair? Canada is the only one who can absorb the power that is Russia and live. Need I bring up Busby's chair? Canada is still alive and kicking!

* * *

Independence and WWII

After WWI, Canada tells England to back off. He becomes independent, no war necessary! England knows his place. He isn't about to challenge the great Canada!

When WWII started, Canada declared war on Nazi Germany. He saw what was happening, and he didn't approve. He went to war on their asses. Canada was a major asset, he had the Royal Canadian Air Force! When the German's attacked the Atlantic coast? Canada came to the rescue! No one is getting past his army! Step aside noobs, Canada takes control of defense, AND DOES IT RIGHT!

Canada can't fight? If you still believe that, we have one word for you: NORMANDY.

* * *

Everything else

Canada's amazingness cannot even begin to be described. This has only scratched the surface. Everything else that is Canada's amazingness goes here. You like animals? Canada has a shit-load of animals. Moose, bears, geese, beavers, you want it, Canada has it!

You want some yaoi? Hungary, get out your camera, cause in Canada you can marry whomever you damn well please. Canada dosen't discriminate! He was raised by the Country of Romance! He has women AND men falling for him! You can't ignore his girth!

You want to have a good time? Canada has it covered. Eat his amazing brownies and you'll be higher than the clouds. He has mary jane, and he knows how to use it!

Canadian police? You must be thinking of the Mounties. You wish you could be so fabulous in a stunning red jacket riding a majestic steed. Poland can tell you. "Canada is like totes fabulous!" You wish your coppers looked this fabulous.

Are your pancakes dry? Not a problem in CANADA. He has all your maple syrup needs covered! Canada has MAPLE TREES!

Do you like sports? Canada has hockey! Football doesn't have anything on hockey, hockey is a REAL contact sport. Watch your favorite teams crush each other in a brawl on ice.

Canada is the 2nd largest nation. Interoperate that however you want. **Bow down to the amazingness that is CANADA!**

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**A/N: First Hetalia fic! ^w^ This was so much fun to write. The idea slapped me across the face with a loaf of bread last night. It hit me hard. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it! Ciao for now!**

**Manga-neko signing out! :3**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Why Norway is Awesome

* * *

The Beginning

Imagine, it is the end of the ice age. The snow is melting, plants are growing, and HOLY SHIT IT'S NORWAY! When the snow melts, Norway prevails! That's right, after the world freaking froze over, Norway emerges like a freaking hibernating bear! The cold doesn't phase him, he's NORWAY!

Are you building something? You are probably using some tools. THANK NORWAY! He is the tool GOD! While other countries were struggling to survive, Norway was like, "to hell with manual labor, let's do the world a favor and be useful!" Just think, this is only the beginning of the almighty NORWAY.

* * *

Vikings

Yes, you read that right, VIKINGS! Norway was a freaking BAMF, you don't want to mess with him. HE WILL SPEAR YOU TO DEATH! Norway was a total badass, finding new countries and claiming them. Iceland? Norway found Iceland and took him in. Big bro Norway will always love you. (Norway, be my brother too! T.T)

You want more? Remember Canada? (If you say "who?" you better pray they didn't hear you.) Read the last chapter. NORWAY was the GOD that took Canada in. Norway, why are you so damn amazing? Not only Iceland, but Canada too? He can't possibly be any more awesome... BUT HE IS!

Hey England, your brother Ireland may not give a shit about you, but he respects Norway! Norway also discovered Ireland! That's right Irish fans, Norway is YOUR founder. Respect him, before the Nordic fan girls explode from jealousy. British fans, just let this info sit in. Forget Britain, NORWAY is the REAL empire.

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The Other Nordics

Denmark is Norway's bitch. Denmark may be bigger, but if Denmark is out of line, Norway will choke him... WITH HIS OWN TIE! If that doesn't say RESPECT NORWAY, you have NO soul! NO ONE messes with NORWAY!

Sweden, you know the tall one, knows how it works. These two BAMFs united, and it was FLIPPING BEAUTIFUL! Norway+Sweden=HOLY SHIT, I CAN'T EVEN COMPREHEND THE AWESOMENESS GHJFVCUYIVGUHBUHO:OUGFYGCVHJBK

Finland: see the above. Anyone who is tight with Su-san is cool with his wife. Santa has 3 sections: good, bad, and OMFG RESPECT THESE GUYS. Norway was the sole reason section 3 was created.

Canada and Iceland won't let anyone do anything to their big brother. You have to go through the two of them first! Please refer to the previous section on Canada to understand how ROYALLY SCREWED you would be.

* * *

Magic

England, step aside, NORWAY is a WIZARD! Flying Mint Bunny wouldn't last a second against a badass TROLL! Plus, Norway's magic works, well. Who do you think sends England Russia whenever he tries to summon something. Oh Norway, you showed him!

His magic has been around since the viking ages. What do you think made vikings so feared? Anyone can swing a battle axe or stab some people, but a true combat genius attacks the MIND and DESTROYS SANITY! Didn't see that coming!

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Wars

WWI, which side was Norway on? NONE! That's right, Norway was neutral. "Europe's having a war, not my problem!" He just kicked back and watched the show, LIKE A BOSS! He didn't need to get involved with such trivial matters like a WORLD WAR.

WWII, same deal. NORWAY can't be bothered by your issues. He's just chilling in the neutral zone, doing whatever the hell he wants. Trivial WORLD WARS aren't his problem, why waste his time and resources? Switzerland obviously looks up to him, copying his neutral ways. Join the NORWAY FOLLOWERS!

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Other Amazingness

If this isn't enough for you, you have no soul! NO SOUL! Worship the greatness that is NORWAY! You will be blinded by this beautiful majestic country! He does all this flipping badass stuff with a fucking smile on his face! It is the picture of innocence! If you want someone to "disappear," he is your man!

You don't believe any of this? GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND START TAKING NOTES! Norway is all you could ask for and MORE! When you have a town named "HELL" you have to be one BAMF! "When hell freezes over?" GOT THAT COVERED! Come and enjoy some freaking winter wonderland in Hell! It's NORWAY!

**A/N: Dedicated to my first reviewer MikiCHU07! I hope you enjoyed ^^ Again, requests are encouraged (this one is filling a request) so don't be shy! Reviewers will get to have a party with the Nordics! WOOT! JOIN THE PARTY :D**

**Manga-neko signing out :3**


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